TV Interview with me + Family Reunion + Book # 3

Dear Family and Friends,

Seven years ago Francis and I were interviewed for a TV program on Portland Community Television called “The Second Act.”  It’s a program sponsored by the Maine Senior Guide, to celebrate “the gifts and vitality of people in the second half of their lives.” 

I agreed again to be interviewed for this “Second Act” program, by myself this time, on the subject of my first book:  Sing to Me and I Will Hear You – The Poems. 

It’s 8 minutes long.  I’m the last of three people being interviewed during this half hour program. 

People from out of town can view it here: http://ctn5.org/shows/second-act/second-act-5358  

Local people can view it on their TV’s next week, as well - Thursdays at 11 AM on Channel 5.  It will also air randomly on Channel 2. The upcoming CH 2 airings are: 9/9   11A; 9/10  8A and 11A; 9/11  8A and 8P; 9/13  2P; 9/14 7P; 9/15 11A

The interviewer is Bill Gregory whom I described in the Acknowledgements of my book as “a retired United Church of Christ minister whom Francis chose to help him ‘with the transition’ and who has given me trusted guidance and support since Francis’ death.”  (By the way, Bill wonders if it’s the camera that made me look more frail than he said I am and look in person.  ;o) 

Interestingly, the radio interview, aired in February, 2011, was also 8 minutes long:  http://soundcloud.com/carolynbarnwell/sing-and-i-will-hear-you   

Last month I went to Woodstock, NB Canada for our annual McGillicuddy family gathering on “Shrine Sunday” at Skiff Lake, NB.  It’s Francis’ great great grandfather Daniel, emigrated from Ireland, who donated part of the family’s property to the church for this Shrine to St. Francis of Assisi (Francis’ patron saint) to be built 89 years ago.  This annual pilgrimage to the Shrine has taken place ever since.  You can see a photo of it here:  http://www.ofsnational.ca/EasternCanada/skifflake.html

Since the following poem which came from that weekend experience doesn’t include everything, I want to mention my joy in being reunited with Francis’ family, nieces and nephews and in-laws, and especially Jo, my sister-in-law, newly widowed. 

I was also delighted by the rare appearance there of Paul McGillicuddy, the 98 (or is it 99?) year old relative who gave Francis his first job in the US before he went to college.  I told Paul, sitting next to me the whole time on the grassy incline during the liturgy – that he had made my day.  Thanks to cousins Barbara and Frank Bolton who brought him.

But here’s the poem (probably revised sufficiently for now) that came from that weekend experience:

Family Reunion                            August 11, 2012

As I round the bend at        

at the Woodstock Exit,

arriving alone

for our family reunion         

(it’s the town where my in-laws

went to school)

I’m flooded with my late             !          

husband’s feelings -

never before like this –

his own feelings in me.

Summer after summer

we came to this together.

But for many springs too,

he came alone.

He did it, he said,

“to commune

with the ancestors.”

He’s one of them now.

They were six siblings    

when I met him.

Only three remain,                     

none of them him . . . and

their spouses are gone –          

all but one

other,

and I.                                  

The five of us gather                        

(it's my hotel room)

plus a nephew and a niece. 

When the eldest

tells stories,

his face animates the past.

I see him nudge his sister:

“You and I, Josephine,” he says,

“are the only ones left

who remember these things.”

My in-laws,

being kin of Francis,        

grace me with

their smiles and manners -

a touch of him.                  

By now Sing to Me and I Will Hear You – The Memoir:  A Love Story is coming along so well I told my editor (another Irishman - Mike O’Connor) that words and ideas are falling like rain, not only in the  chapter 4 I’m working on now, but for future chapters.  And yesterday, even a possible closing sentence for the whole of this book # 2 presented itself.

The writing is giving me such joy I can feel Francis’ pleasure.  In fact, after writing about him at Camp Pesquasawasis, this poem came:

Your Pleasure                            August 18, 2012

If you read

what I wrote

about you,

today -

you would be pleased.

But the feeling’s

so strong, that you

are . . .

pleased,

how can I say that

“you would . . .”?

Book # 3 is therefore already on its way since the thirty poems that have come and will come, God willing/inshallah, after the publication of the first one, will comprise half of it.  The name of that third book, I like to repeat, is:  Sing to Me and I Will Hear You – The Uncollected Poems and Journals.

Loving Gratitude,

and Prayer for justice and peace for all people

and for our planet,

Elaine

PS:  I love to hear from outside the glass door near which I’m sitting, my six chickens’ contented clucks.

On the Second Anniversary of Francis' Death

Dear Family and Friends,

Today is the second anniversary of Francis’ death. I had initially decided not to write you about this second celebration of Francis’ departure from this life, and entry into whatever that other mysterious life is -since you had heard last year, about the ritual Lynn, Lee, Rowan and I had enacted. (We plan to make it an annual “family” tradition,).

But, a friend’s email gave me a nudge to write anyway. Moreover I do have something new to offer - a new poem that “came” in recent days which I recited in the chill winter air, after supper last night, once we had gathered around the “Pepere/Francis tree.

Once out of the side door, Rowan, holding her own lit candle which she had enjoyed selecting earlier (for each of us) - walked so quickly toward the Japanese Stewartia tree, I called out to her to come back and walk with us more slowly. “We’re walking in procession,” I said. Lee quickly explained – “Yes, Rowan – it’s like a parade.” I then added “That’s right – a holy parade.”

Rowan was so eager to sing our special chant we had rehearsed ahead of time – “Set me as a seal upon your heart. . . for love is (more strong) than death,” she started singing it en route. I was glad the three of them could keep it going for I could only sing snatches of it at first.

This year, after repeating key points I made last year - http://www.elaineandfrancis.blogspot.com/2011_01_01_archive.html - building on the parable of the water bugs and the dragon flies,* - Rowan spontaneously added comments of her own. Perhaps she was reacting to my saying (addressing Francis aloud:) “Because we are like the waterbugs that still live under water, we don’t know where you, like a dragonfly, went. But we will find out when we join you someday “ because that’s what she expanded – the idea of our being-“joined”-together. She used her own words, demonstrating them with a touching, powerful gesture: She brought the flame of her own candle to merge with the flame of our candles!

Here’s the poem I then recited:

On the Second Anniversary of Your Death

By your first anniversary -

poems

came like kernels:

Gathered, they burst into life,

sprouting

your presence,

all year long.

In the second one after you left -

I grasped anew:

You’re not present in the past.

You’re near, you’re here.

You rise with me in each day’s light.

You stoke my fire through our daily trysts.

(Silence is my Spouse and yours.)

You root my joy in the earth –

for you walk all the paths of my life.

Loving Gratitude to all,

Elaine

PS The CD’s of my reading the poems have arrived, butThe Poems book whose “draft (hard) copy” will be mailed to me soon, will take a little longer. Having finished writing the chapter for the Memoir I couldn’t put down, I’m only now catching up with Christmas correspondence! Until January 6 – Feast of the Epiphany, it’s still the Christmas season!

* Water Bugs and Dragonflies, Explaining Death to Young Children by Doris Stickney

Elaine's Christmas/Holiday Letter

Dear Family and Friends,

Greetings of peace and joy this Christmas - including Solstice, (though it’s past now) ;o) Hanukkah, and Kwanza. (We have Africans in our parish.)

Without downplaying the nostalgia of this season for all who miss loved ones no longer physically present, (and since it was during this season Francis was dying two years ago, it’s doubly nostalgic for me) – still, I say what my “philosopher” father would say: Since we all must die - and Francis’ death was an extraordinarily “good death” - how could I not trust the wisdom behind the events of my life that guides me?

I’m in awe discovering such healing and joy in writing. It even feels like a calling - to tell Francis’ and my story. Just as together we tried to work for peace and justice through our engagement in yoga, the Dances of Universal Peace and permaculture, I have to trust that my new path will be another way. I pray to be faithful.

I celebrate Jesus’ birth and coming because the Love He brought and lived offers - to suffering humanity and our planet with all its creatures (of which we are a part) - the greatest promise. I celebrate Jesus also because during Francis’ and my last earthly exchange, firmly holding each others’ hands - I told him I was now handing him over into Jesus’ hands. I saw in his radiant smile – a man transformed, ready for the next stage of the “Mystery.” Because it was a theme of his, I used his words as the dedication of my soon to be published book of poems: “To Francis who knew how to surrender to Mystery.”

Good health to you and yours in 2012!

Love and always – much Gratitude!

Elaine

PS I just returned from “Midnight Mass” (which began at 10 PM.) where I was reminded of my papa who sang “Minuit Chretiens” (O Holy Night) as the soloist for many many Christmas Eve’s.

I’ll also never forget either - it was on Christmas Eve (two years ago) that Francis said to me, at the end of our extraordinary dialogue: “Your presence was deeply drawn into my soul, and so, I am very happy.” I will never forget that. (It’s on this blogspot under December 26, called “Sharing our precious dialogue” (because I waited to get his permission before sharing it.)

PPS: I have spent four days rewriting the chapter of how Francis and I fell in love since the discovery of more letters has shed even more light on the subject. What a joyous thing - to be working on the Memoir Love Story!

Counting My Blessings

Dear Family and Friends,

When I awoke this morning (on Francis’ side of the bed) I watched the pale light of a new day gradually brightening outside our bedroom windows.

With this photo (below) sent me yesterday by our longtime photographer friend, Jan Born, I’ve been recalling how proud we all felt two years ago when Francis had summoned the energy to go with me to my cousin George’s and Heidi’s home for Thanksgiving dinner - only one month and 12 days before he died.

With this year’s Thanksgiving in mind, I began to count my blessings. They are not just the poems that came in the last year, nor the CD of my reading them (both of which are now at the publisher’s) . . .But - my blessings are my friends!

I began to think of many of you individually, how each one’s kindness, goodness and uniqueness has gifted me. And - having had dinner with my niece last week, and talked on the phone with Jo, my sister-in-law, last night - this includes family too.

Though I lay there alone, I did not at all feel alone. Even as I wrote this, a frisky chickadee got my attention, and so brought me company - by knocking. I thought for a moment someone was at the glass door near this computer. In trying to get at some chickadee-food, s/he was vigorously pecking at a thick grape vine hanging over the trellis outside.

So I just want you to tell you this - For your unique and supportive relationship with me - each one - I give heartfelt Thanks - giving!

Elaine

News Triggered By Friends

Dear Family and Friends,

When I started receiving “Happy Birthday” wishes from friends this morning – even, to my delight, from Francis’ and my friend from the past, Alfred DePew – I wrote a response to post on my “Wall” in Facebook which I rarely use. But it must have been too long, since it wouldn’t “take.” So here it is, now expanded, for all of you. Posted as a link to www.elaineandfrancis.blogspot.com Facebook ought to work for me this time. It became the trigger to share, sooner than I expected,

this news:

But first of all – (I like to use Francis’ expression) - “Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!” for the birthday greetings! After celebrating Lee’s birthday yesterday with Lynn and (godchild) Rowan by going on a whale watch with several of their friends (increasingly becoming my friends) and then later having dinner, cooked by Lee, at their home, I was feted too by my home-made family.

My birthday joy today (76 now) consists in the following: Four days ago, right here in this yoga living room where Francis’ hospice bed sat - with the help of recording engineer, Chris Mega - I read all 60 of the poems which came to me within the past year, (thank you Francis!) This means I will soon deliver to my publisher, David Gawlik, not only the “master” to create the CD of the poetry reading, but the final poetry manuscript for book # 1 –

Sing To Me And I Will Hear You

The Poems

Another bit of news: Because our six sweet chickens began eating their own eggs, I gave them to a permaculture friend who loves chickens. Integrated with her own flock and able to “free range” there on the farm, they’re less likely to eat their own eggs. I miss them, but I’m grateful I won’t have to shovel my path to the coop when snow arrives. This chicken-less hiatus until next April when I’ll get new chicks for Rowan in time for her 8^th birthday, will also give me seven months of extra writing time. I’ve already started working on book #2 –

Sing To Me And I Will Hear You

The Memoir.

Full of gratitude and joy.

PS Who left a “singing telegram” on my answering machine? I can’t quite detect the voice behind that lovely birthday greeting.