Dear Family and Friends,
As our dark season approaches the return of light which is Solstice, and then Christmas, I’m becoming aware how this grand, ongoing drama of life is taking place also, within myself.
A few of the large-scaled dramas have touched me personally this month, e.g. when I participated in last Sunday’s march for Racial Justice (escorted by police down Congress Street) at the end of which, in the Portland High School gym, we listened to stirring talks. Having translated from French to English some African asylees’ “Declaration” papers to present before US Immigration, I’ve learned a lot. For example, one politically active young man, happily settled here now, had to flee for his life for doing a similar thing in the Congo. The newspaper’s quoting an African onlooker’s expression of amazement witnessing this peaceful demonstration means something.
The other one relates to Francis’ and my having started a weekly Anti-Torture Vigil at Monument Square in 2003. I used to read everything about that dark subject to select materials for handouts – at that time. Since Francis’ death, however, I haven’t had the stomach (good cliché) to follow any of this closely. Now, with the release of the long-awaited Senate report on interrogation techniques used by the CIA, however, I’m grateful indeed that finally, the truth has been publicly acknowledged by our own government. That too means something.
About my writing work, something new has developed within the last week. It mirrors what happened in 2011 when I was puzzling how to handle poems that were coming at a time when I wanted to write Francis’ story and mine in prose. At that time, I was poised to include both poetry and prose in one book, just as I was about to do now. But, as I finally chose to do, then, I have decided to do the same now: write two books, not one.
So the content of the third book,“SING TO ME AND I WILL HEAR YOU – New Poems,” will include these new poems by themselves. And the fourth book, “THIS NEW LIFE A Widow’s Journal,” will include selections from my journal which I’ve been keeping since Francis died.
To speak about my journey now (almost five years after his death on January 3, 2010) – when I went to bed last night, I felt downright surprised at the depth of my joy. When I awakened even more happy, I wondered at it. The reason, I decided, is that I had spent most of the previous day selecting the order . . . , in other words, I was sequencing the poems for my third book. That’s cause enough for joy, for sure, because those approximately 70 poems that have come since publication of the first poems book, reengage me with the experiences Francis and I were privileged to share. These new poems also touch on my own experiences adjusting to this never-before-traveled road I’m on – the state of widowhood.
There’s even a deeper reason for the blessedness I felt last night and this morning. It’s what I’ve discovered through writing both the poems, and my widow’s story. And it’s this: I’ve come to appreciate this time in my life, just as it is. Widowhood has given me the opportunity not only to grow in new ways, develop gifts I didn’t realize I had, but also, to advance in understanding that comes with age.
Moreover, all along, since Francis died, I’ve felt “called” to write. But now, with a deepening, reassuring surety about it – that my current writing of two more books (for a total of four) continues to confirm that I’m still engaged in the work I must do before I die – no wonder I felt almost euphoric! For what deeper satisfaction can there be than doing what one feels called to do?
May each of you and your loved ones experience the joy of this season through the diverse ways of celebrating it, including Christmas.
May you be blessed with good health and energy to carry on with your own good work for the common good of all people – and for the restoration of our planet. (On this subject, here is important information I’ve discovered: http://www.context.org/about/plans/cis-long-term-strategy/